The Endless Tango of Love and Money
by Seeroftodayandtomorrow
Summary: When Kurt Hummel hires escort Blaine Anderson to play his boyfriend at a family gathering, he sets in motion a chain of events that ends up in them living together for a year, posing as boyfriends, and struggling with jealous relatives, dancing, money, and love. This is, once again, inspired by and very loosely based on a German novel I read a long time ago.
1. Chapter 1

"No, it's not – for heaven's sake, Rachel, it's not that kind of escort!"

Kurt has to hold the phone away from his ear to avoid the shrill voice of his friend hurting it.

"Why – I don't know why! No, it's the original sense of the word. Yes. Someone who escorts you somewhere."

It is hard to get a word in between Rachel's outraged rant, but he has known how she would react when he told her, so it is his own fault.

"Look, it's like at the studio, when there's a ball, and there are not enough gentlemen, I hire some from this agency to dance with the ladies. This is just a little different, cause I'm not looking for a dancer, but for someone who is willing to pretend to be my boyfriend for a week. It's even the same agency!"

Half an hour later, he hangs up, exhausted. It is so tiring to talk to Rachel, he really doesn't know how he has survived living with her. But he has managed to convince her, and himself, that hiring an escort to accompany him to this probably awful party isn't such a bad idea, and really the only solution to several issues he desperately wants to avoid.

He sits down at his desk and re-reads the invitation. In three weeks, his dad and Carole celebrate their ten-year wedding anniversary, and as the time collides with his great-uncle Andy's eightieth birthday, they have decided to make a week-long event of it. Kurt groans internally. He is always happy to see his dad and Carole, but to be around the whole family for a whole week? It will only be bearable if he can avoid the three things that bother him most at events such as this, and for that, he needs a boyfriend. And as there isn't anyone special in his life at the moment – well.

He sighs as he looks up the number of the agency. While he has no problem playing pretend in front of his extended family, he hates lying to his dad, but it can't be helped.

It is true, he hasn't had a boyfriend for some time, and the last time he has brought someone to a bigger family event has ended in a catastrophe that resulted in him being bugged about "a man in his life" ever since. His dad is worried about him being lonely, his bitchy cousin Linda thinks him too frigid to keep a man interested, and the casual homophobia of his older aunts and uncles has them believe gay men to be unable to commit. If he brings a boyfriend, especially one who is charming and polite as someone who works as an event escort is bound to be, all of them will have nothing to say about that topic anymore. Especially Linda. It is essential to his sanity and her survival that she keeps her mouth shut for once.

He phones the agency, and manages to convey what he wants with a minimal amount of misunderstandings. The woman in charge clearly has had stranger demands, though she admitts that pretend boyfriends aren't looked for all that often.

When he hangs up, he is satisfied they have found somebody fitting. He takes a deep breath as he dials a new number. There is one last call he has to make.

"Dad? Could I maybe bring someone to the party?"

Three weeks later, Kurt tries to stay calm as he finishes his packing. Things have been anything but ideal the last few weeks. A pipe has burst in the dance studio, and the water damage has made their second hall practically unusable until he finds the money to have a new hardwood floor put in and the walls painted. They have had to reschedule everything and even cancel two classes, and Kurt doesn't like to leave Mike and Brittany alone with the mess for a whole week. However, there ís nothing to be done, because Kurt refuses to let the unrefundable money that he has paid for his pretend boyfriend and now can't afford anymore go to waste, not to mention that he doesn't want to disappoint his dad. So he has to go. But because of all this, he and his new fake boyfriend haven't even found time to meet up beforehand, so they have agreed to fly to Ohio together to go over basics like how they met. So now, he is waiting and trying not to get too nervous, but before he can really begin to get worked up, the doorbell rings.

"Oh my God, " Kurt cries out after he has opened the door. "Please tell me that you are not planning to wear something like that to the actual party!"

The man standing outside is wearing dusty pink pants and a colorful checked shirt that makes him look like a living pride flag.

The man raises an eyebrow. "And a good day to you, too! I'm Blaine Anderson. Nice to meet you."

Kurt blushes. "I am so sorry. I was just...surprised. This is very...Joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat."

"I am a walking work of art." The man grins.

Kurt grins back, pleased that he has caught the reference. He opens the door wider. "Yes, and you look handsome, you look smart. Just...colorful. Please come in."

The man hesitates. "Um – the cab's still waiting, if you wanted to go to the airport? There's not too much time left till we have to be there anyway, and I thought that maybe we could get coffee. You know, for our first date."

Kurt has to grin again. "That's very romantic of you. Just let me get my bag."

"So what's it going to be?" Blaine asks when they have found a table in the tiny coffee shop at the airport. "Honey? Darling?"

Kurt blushes. "None, please. Just Kurt. I'm not really...comfortable with pet names at this early stage of our relationship."

Blaine laughs. "A pity. I'm sure I could have come up with something creative. So how did we meet? A bar?"

"No! Not a bar. I don't really do much partying. Um – how about we stay as close to the truth as possible and say you're one of the dancers the agency sent for my last ball?"

He sighs a little as he remembers he won't be able to hire any more dancers until he manages to fix the second hall, and that he's still at a loss about how to get the money for this.

Blaine looks doubtful. "I'm not sure...I mean, I know the basics, but I'm not that much of a dancer. I'm not sure I can pass for someone who gets hired for dancing."

Kurt gasps in mock terror. "I'm a dance instructor! I can't date somebody who doesn't know how to dance! But we still have time. There will be no dancing required until at least...the day after tomorrow. I can teach you."

Blaine doesn't look completely convinced, but he nods. "I did some dancing back in high school, so maybe I'll remember something. What else will I have to do?"

Kurt counts on his fingers. "Wear something decent. I mean, if we were really together, I'd probably pick your clothes for an event like this, so it should be something I'd approve of. Um...look pretty. Be charming. Of course, be completely devoted to me."

Blaine nods, grinning. "Of course."

Kurt leans forward. "Now comes the important part. Do not, ever, under any circumstances, sleep with my cousin Linda."

"Your cousin...Linda? As in, your female cousin? Why would I do that?"

"I don't know either. But my ex didn't share that opinion."

"Ouch. Bi?"

Kurt shrugs. "I guess. Or gay and experimenting with her? Straight and experimenting with me? I have really no idea."

"You never talked about that? How long were you together?"

"A few months. And he came up on me. I never felt the need to clarify anything."

"Okay. So, I promise I won't sleep with your cousin Linda."

"Thank you."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N I forgot to do that at the end of 'For in my Heart I CArry such a Heavy Load', so I'll do it here in the hope that you'll see it: Thanks to all those who read, followed, favorited and left rewievs. I really appreciate it!**

Kurt is surprised by how much he enjoys the flight. Blaine is easy to talk to, and he enjoys his company and their innocent, teasing flirtation. They clear most of the important things they have to know about each other to be able to pass as boyfriends and then decide to practice on the physical aspects of their fake relationship. They leave the plane hand in hand, and although they are in Ohio, no one bats an eye.

They decide to go for another coffee before finding their hotel, and when they are seated at a corner table, Kurt decides to disclose one last, slightly embarrassing detail about their stay.

"So. About that hotel."

"Yes?"

"Um...my dad booked the rooms. And as I told him we're together, he...booked us a double."

"So?"

"So we have to sleep in one room."

"I assumed we would."

"You did?"

"It would look kind of weird if you had insisted on separate rooms for you and your boyfriend, wouldn't it? So, as long as you don't insist on some crap like one of us sleeps on the floor or keeping your sword between us the whole time, I'm good."

Kurt has to laugh.

"I'm glad to hear that. And I'm sure you'll be glad to hear that I don't own a sword. But I hope you don't have a husband that I must prove to that I'm no danger to your virtue?"

"None that I know of. I do have a father and an older brother though, but I doubt they want anything to do with my virtue."

Just like that, they are back to laughing as Blaine tells tales of his eccentric actor brother.

"And you?" Kurt asks when he can talk again. "Have you never wanted to follow his example?"

"I generally avoid to follow Cooper's example as much as possible," Blaine answers, shaking his head. "I...write."

"Anything I should have read?"

"No, I'm still working on, you know, the whole being published thing. At least, for a real novel. I've published some things, but they're more to pay the bills, in addition to the escorting."

"So what have you published? What do you write to pay the bills?"

Blaine looks slightly embarrassed. "Romance novels."

Kurt gapes at him with open mouth. "You write porn."

"It's not exactly..."

"Straight porn."

Blaine starts to answer, but then shrugs and lifts his arms in a gesture of surrender. "Yes, okay, you got me. I write straight porn for a living."

Kurt keeps gaping for a minute, and then he can't close his mouth because he just has to laugh. Blaine looks at him with an expression of amused patience, waiting for him to explain.

When Kurt feels he can stop laughing long enough to talk, he gives in.

"I just imagined what my dad would say if I told him my boyfriend was a porn writer – slash – escort. I mean, are you aware how that sounds?"

Blaine groans. "If I really were your boyfriend, I'd be terrified by now. But even though I'm not, do you think we could stick to event escort/aspiring author, please?"

Kurt nods enthusiastically, mouth full of coffee. "We definitely can. After all, you're here so the rumors about my love life stop, not to add new ones."

"So, if I may know, what precisely are these rumors?"

"Oh, you're so polite, I like that. Um, they're not so exciting, I guess. My - my dad basically just wants me happy, and since my career didn't quite go as I imagined but I'm quite happy with it anyway he focuses on my love life to nag me about. He tries to be subtle about it, but...well. I can see he wants for me to 'settle already', and it doesn't exactly help that my last break up was a very public and...loud affair."

"Oh, was that the story with what's her name again?"

"Linda. You have to remember that name. It's the one person at that party you are not required to be polite to. In fact, I practically forbid you to be polite to her."

"I'll do my best. I can't guarantee anything, though. I've been told I'm quite dapper."

Kurt takes in the gelled hair and the bow tie and can't argue that.

"You are. Oh, well, I guess you may be polite, if you must. But only polite."

"I already promised I won't sleep with her. So what's the story with her and your ex?"

"At the last bigger family party – I don't remember the occasion, some birthday or other, about three years ago, I went to pick up some people from the airport, and when we got back, we walked right in on them - my dad called it 'being indecent' on the living room couch. It was...very embarrassing for everyone involved."

"I can imagine."

"And since then, she just keeps making these remarks. Like I'm too boring or too ugly to get another guy. And if I do, she'll just sleep with him, too."

"Wow, she seems like a real sweetheart. And what does she mean, boring and ugly? I mean, we haven't known each other that long, but you seem pretty interesting to me. And you're hot."

Kurt snorts, discreetly but incredulous. "Yeah, right."

"No, really. Has no one ever told you? Have you had other boyfriends since asshole?"

"Ian. But asshole is okay. And nothing that went for longer than a couple of dates. Which is the third problem. Like, my older relatives, they have kind of accepted that I'm gay, but they seem to think that all gay guys just go to bars on the weekends and pick up a different guy every time. I have really heard my Aunt Mildred say that there's no use in allowing gay marriage because 'the gays don't really want to marry, anyway.' So I kind of want to show them a committed gay relationship."

"So how long have we been together?"

"In my timeline, we're hitting three months. I know that's not long in terms of commitment, but it's the longest that worked. I mean, I don't want to imagine my dad's reaction if I called him and said, There's this guy I've been seeing for a year now but you've never met him and I haven't even told you his name!"

They laugh, but then Kurt looks at his watch. "We should finish and leave soon. I've told the concierge we'd be there at five."

Blaine nods as he takes another sip pf his latte. "Can I ask you just one more thing? Earlier, you mentioned that your career didn't pan out as planned. You own a dance studio, right? So what did you want to do originally?"

Kurt smiles a little wistfully. "Broadway. I applied to NYADA, the performing arts school? But I didn't get in. I planned on applying again for the next year, and in the mean time I took a few classes to improve my chances. One of them was ballroom dancing, and I...just loved it, and I was really good at it, too. So I took more classes instead of reapplying, and then I learned how to teach the dances, and then five years ago I had that ridiculously good offer of a job as dance instructor, and when the owners of the school retired, I took over. It's great. The only thing is, I don't do much actual dancing anymore. Administration and finances take up a lot of time, and most of the actual teaching is done by Mike and Brittany. Still. I'm glad I went this way. Are you ready to go?"

As they stand up and get ready to leave, the old man that's been sitting at a neighboring table the whole time puts his newspaper down and looks at them. Kurt nearly drops his tray.

"Uncle...Uncle Andy?"


	3. Chapter 3

"He didn't say anything! Why didn't he say something?"

Kurt can't seem to calm himself. He's been freaking out ever since their brief and very awkward conversation with Uncle Andy at the coffee shop, in which Uncle Andy has not mentioned one word about what he must have heard. In the cab on the way to their hotel, Kurt is muttering to himself, looking for reasons for his uncle's silence and reassurances that maybe he hasn't heard anything after all. He doesn't want to know what the cab driver will think of him, not to mention Blaine, who is in full pretend-boyfriend mode, patting his knee from time to time while awkwardly saying, "Everything is going to be fine."

In the elevator to their hotel room, Kurt finally loses his patience for Blaine's well meaning but rather clumsy attempts at consolation.

"It's not going to be fine, okay, Blaine? He must have heard everything! He knows that you're not really my boyfriend, and he _will _tell at some point!"

He tries to unlock the door to their room with the key card, but fails miserably because he can't keep his hand still for long enough.

"Oh my god, I practically told you I have one night stands! So now he knows, too! Do I want my whole family to know that I have one night stands? Do I want my dad to know that I have one night stands? I don't want him to know that!"

Blaine gently takes the key card from him, unlocks the door and ushers him inside. He takes Kurt's coat and hangs it in the closet, and says,

"You did not say anything about one night stands. Believe me, I would have noticed. And even if, he must be what? Eighty? I'm sure he shows signs of senility."

"Blaine, that's rude!" Kurt says, somewhat shocked, but very slowly beginning to see the humor in their situation.

"Oh please, don't tell me you haven't thought the same. Besides, even if he told everyone that I'm not really your boyfriend, who would believe him?"

He moves Kurt in front of the mirror, then stands behind him, wraps his arms around Kurt's waist and puts his head on his shoulder. He smiles at their reflection.

"See? We look adorable together!"

Kurt pulls himself together to really look at them. Blaine is right. His head fits right on Kurt's shoulder (although Kurt is aware that Blaine is probably standing on tiptoe), his smile is fondly teasing. They look as if they have done this a million times. They look like a couple.

"Ooh, you are so right. This could fool even my dad. And please, be like that around Linda. She will...I don't even know. But she will be so jealous. She'll hit on you so hard."

Kurt begins to look forward to fooling everyone in his family into believing that this handsome, charming and easily affectionate man is his boyfriend, and he begins to think of ways to have fun with this. Especially with Linda. She has it coming.

Blaine lets go of him to start unpacking his suitcase, and Kurt remembers he has to do the same before his shirts wrinkle beyond recognition.

"Just, if she does, "Blaine says, "Hit on me, I mean. Don't pounce on her like a tiger mommy. Let me deal with her, or we do it together. I think I know a few ways to do it that'll teach her to ever hit on anyone's boyfriend again."

Going to bed is surprisingly un-awkward. After dinner in the hotel restaurant, they return to their room, play rock-paper-scissors about who can have the bathroom first, and agree on a movie to watch before sleeping. And then Kurt remembers.

"Blaine?" Blaine seems half asleep already, and so Kurt nudges him in the ribs with his elbow.

"Hmm?"

"We're meeting my dad and Carole tomorrow for breakfast."

"Okay," Blaine mumbles, turns on his side and closes his eyes.

"Blaine!"

"What?"

"You can't just...how can you just go to sleep? Aren't you nervous? I'm nervous."

"Of course you're nervous. He's your dad, you love him and he knows you well and you're lying to him." With a sigh, Blaine pulls himself up in a sitting position. "But this is my job. I've done this...I don't know, at least six, seven times. It's usually girls and just a night or a weekend, not a whole week, but the difference is not that big. Don't get me wrong, I'll give my best effort, because I kind of like you and I want this to work for you, and also because I'd like to keep my job. But it's just not such a big deal for me." He pauses and seems to reconsider. "Although your dad sounds terrifying."

"He's really not." Kurt has to laugh again; Blaine is right, of course, and somehow, him being calm helps to calm Kurt, too. "It's a relief somehow that one of us can go about this in a professional manner."

Blaine smiles at him and then closes his eyes. "Don't worry, we'll pull this off."

In the morning, Kurt is happy that he finds himself on his side, facing away from Blaine, and not doing the cliché thing and waking up unconsciously grinding his morning boner into Blaine's backside. So he happily takes a shower and dresses himself, all the while letting Blaine quietly snore into his pillow, and only wakes him when he is completely ready with brushed teeth and styled hair. He not-so-subtly suggests clothes for Blaine to wear, and Blaine complies with a good natured eye roll, so that his look is much more toned down and subtle than in yesterday's outrageous clothes. He still looks...fairly obvious though, which Kurt likes. There's no need in hiding a good thing, after all, and it might calm his dad when, after the disaster with Ian and the sudden confusion about his sexual orientation, the new boyfriend is pretty obviously gay.

When the time arrives, they go downstairs, and Kurt can see Burt and Carole already sitting at a table, coffee in front of them. He takes a deep breath, takes Blaine's hand, and walks up to them.

"Dad, Carole...this is Blaine."

Breakfast goes well, all in all. His dad seems to like Blaine, and Kurt doesn't know if it's the fact that it's Blaine, who is affectionate towards him and polite and charming to Burt and Carole without exaggerating or seeming too smooth, or if Burt is just so happy that there's finally someone in Kurt's life again that it doesn't matter so much who that someone is. Kurt decides to give the credit to Blaine. After all, Burt can have a pretty protective streak, and Kurt seems to remember that he never really warmed up towards Ian.

However, there is one moment that has the potential of being really awkward. Burt had asked the obligatory, 'What are your intentions towards my son' questions, albeit in a way that is much more relaxed and casual than Kurt anticipated, and Blaine had skillfully skirted around a definite answer and had somehow still managed to sound like he thinks of Kurt as his soulmate and the love of his life, and then Burt asks,

"So, as an event escort, does it happen that people hire you as a pretend boyfriend?"

Kurt's heart skips a beat, and he sees his whole plan go up in flames, but Blaine answers without hesitating,

"From time to time. Not as often as one might think, though."

"Isn't that awkward for Kurt and you, when that happens?"

Kurt dares to exhale, relieved, although the fear that his dad has picked up on something is not quite over yet.

Blaine very briefly looks at Kurt and smiles, and answers,

"It hasn't happened yet. But it's not that big of a deal. It's mostly handholding, or now and then a kiss on the cheek. I think that Kurt and I are sure enough of our relationship that we can handle that."

Back in their room, Kurt just has to hug Blaine.

"That went perfect, thank you so much! You are a very talented actor, and you have quite a pokerface. I thought I'd die when he asked that question!"

"Yes, I'm pretty good at my job. Too bad it's not the one I want to be doing."

Blaine had told Kurt quite truthfully about his terrible writer's block and that his novel seems to be stuck somewhere and won't budge a millimeter.

"I'm sure you'll get there. Maybe your muse comes back this week," Kurt encourages. "Now, tonight is the first part of the big party. Time for dancing lessons!"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N It's been a while since I danced, and of course I learned the steps in German, so tell me if I make mistakes. Only keep in mind that this is International Ballroom, not American or Argentine.**

Ignoring Blaine groaning and collapsing on the bed, Kurt puts on an upbeat song and starts to just dance around the room. He likes to do this at the start of lessons, just let everyone dance around as they like. Most of his students hate it, but he finds it gives him a good opportunity to watch and see how they are able to control their bodies and its movements, and their ability to feel the rhythm and the music. Besides, it's fun.

"Up, "he orders. "You've just drunk approximately two liters of coffee, you don't get to pretend you're tired."

"You've had just as much coffee as I did," Blaine answers, but gets up from the bed. "So what now, just dance around?"

Instead of starting by awkwardly swaying a bit as most people do, Blaine dives right in. Kurt keeps dancing for a while but then stands to the side and just watches. Blaine's feeling for rhythm and music is excellent, and he seems in control of his body and his movements, but he is also very relaxed and loose-limbed. That will need some work, though not necessarily today.

He stops the music after ten minutes or so and half-ironically claps for Blaine, who takes a flourished bow.

"Most of tonight will be only this, or perhaps slow-dancing," Kurt says. "But there's one dance I'd really like to do, if we get the opportunity and you're up to it."

He changes the music. "Even a basic tango can look very impressive if you get the head movements right, and I want to show off my newly acquired boyfriend."

"You just want to make Linda jealous."

"More like setting the trap. I really look forward to watching you take her down. Now, we start with me leading because I know the steps, but it might be fun to switch later."

"Just like in bed?"

"You have a dirty mind, but yes. Exactly. And that's not the only thing tango and sex have in common. Wait, you _are _gay, aren't you?"

"The pink pants and my open disdain of the thought of sleeping with a girl weren't obvious enough?"

"Just making sure. Because if you were not, this might be a little weird for you."

He arranges their arms in position and then pulls Blaine flush against him, so that their bodies from waist to knees are pressed together.

Apparently, the position is weird to Blaine even though he is gay.

"Woah! What happened to dance space?"

"Not in the tango, Baby." Kurt glances at Blaine to make sure he understands that this was an answer to the movie reference, not a pet name, and then busies himself with adjusting their postures. He silently laughs at himself because here they are, almost as close as two people can be while wearing clothes, and still he gets flustered at the thought of calling Blaine a pet name.

"Okay, now the tango is sometimes called 'a vertical expression of a horizontal desire'. So it's all about sex, really. That's why we have the close position, and that's why there are steps like this one."

He moves his leg forward so that it is sandwiched between Blaine's, and he suddenly realizes that he's never danced this dance with a man before. In this position, it_ is_ a real difference. He clears his throat and resolutely ignores Blaine's red face.

"Now, back straight and head to the left."

He teaches Blaine the basic steps and the dramatic head movements and leads him through a corte and a simple promenade, and once they get over the initial embarrassment of being so close together, they actually have a lot of fun. Blaine is a good follow, and although the mirror in the hotel room is too small to get a real look, Kurt can see that they look good together. He really starts looking forward to doing this tonight.

Later in the evening, they get ready, and when they are done, they again position themselves in front of the mirror and see how they look as a couple. And they look_ good. _Even if Kurt says so himself. Blaine is wearing a classic well-cut suit that emphasizes his shoulders and waist, and Kurt himself – well, his own outfit is obviously flawless.

"Remember, if we do get to do the tango, take your jacket off. Ballroom dancing looks stupid in a suit that wasn't especially tailored for dancing."

"I know. And you remember not to be jealous if Linda makes a move on me. Try not to show any reaction except perhaps light amusement. Like, whatever we do at home, you know you're so good at it I'd never stray."

Kurt laughs and blushes, and holds his hand out for Blaine to take as they go downstairs to join the party.

His family's reactions to his new boyfriend are mixed. Most act like normal people; they shake Blaine's hand and say 'Nice to meet you'. Some add a 'He's quite a catch!" or "Keep an eye on Kurt", which makes him internally roll his eyes. Aunt Mildred looks Blaine once over, arches an eyebrow and takes his offered hand, and Kurt swears he hears her mumble under her breath, "It won't last." Blaine must have heard it too, for he stares unbelieving for one second, and then gives Kurt the most ridiculous heart eyes and a kiss on the cheek.

Kurt is nearly impatient for Linda to start hitting on Blaine. He feels like him and Blaine are conspirators against her, and he is excited and nervous that he will show jealousy, for he is sure to _feel _jealous even though Blaine isn't even his real boyfriend. He has to wait until after dinner, though, because Linda makes a diva-esque late entry when everybody is already seated, and Kurt doesn't like it, but he has to admit she looks good in her dark red cocktail dress (although she is wearing too much eyeliner).

Kurt is at the bar after dinner getting drinks for Blaine and himself when he sees her approaching Blaine like a lioness approaching her prey, so he decides to perch on a bar stool, slowly sipping on his drink and watching their interaction with what he hopes is a pitying and slightly condescending smile.

Linda goes all out. She offers Blaine her hand to kiss, which he gallantly does, and then smiles at him while looking up to him through her lashes, which takes some expertise because she is taller than him. They talk for a bit, which Kurt unfortunately can't hear, and then he nearly chokes on his drink as she slowly runs one finger down Blaine's tie. Blaine seems flustered at first by so much forwardness, but then his expression changes into a 'seriously?' - look as he briefly locks eyes with Kurt and then gently takes her hand to move it away from him.

Finally, Blaine manages to get away and joins Kurt at the bar, giving him a lingering kiss on the cheek while discreetly side-eyeing Linda, who watches them with a little smirk.

"She is...I don't even know. Aggressive. She told me that thing, you know, from Victor/Victoria? That I might be gay now but the right girl could certainly convert me?"

Kurt whistles. "That is...even more offensive than I expected of her. What did you say?"

"Well, she didn't seem to know that it was from a movie, so I stole Toddy's answer and told her that the right girl could certainly convert her as well. She said she was open to anything and told me I could watch. Or join. I take that as a challenge. We have to do the tango."

They do, a little later. When the dj plays the right music and there is enough room on the dance floor to actually move, they take the opportunity, and soon nobody dances anymore, but most of the party guests stand around the dance floor in a circle and watch. Everything goes well, they even manage to switch leads without blotching noticably, and when the dance is over, they accept their applause with flushed cheeks and big smiles. Kurt's good mood is challenged a little when, besides the genuine enjoyment on the faces of most of their audience and the open pride on his dad's, he notices embarrassment and even disgust displayed by some of his older relatives, in particular Aunt Mildred, who whispers indignantly in Uncle Andy's ear and seems put out when he only watches them with a benevolent smile. Kurt can't believe it. He knows he chose the tango not only to make Linda jealous, but also to provoke, but for heaven's sake, it's not the lambada!

The music changes into a ballad, and it seems only natural to stay on the floor and start slow dancing, but after a few seconds, Linda steps between them, and without even acknowledging Kurt's existence she puts her arms around Blaine's neck and starts swaying. Kurt decides to be the bigger man and steps back, although he feels sorry for Blaine who watches him leave the dance floor with a slightly desperate expression, but politely starts dancing with Linda.

When the dance is over, Blaine manages to escape, walks up to Kurt and puts his arms around him.

"She is unbelievable. I've never experienced something like that before, she just can't take no for an answer. We have to start working with heavier calibers. You should give me a hickey."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Unsurprisingly, there is marking in this chapter. And-apparently I have written marking kink? Sorry, I didn't mean to.**

**By the way, I forgot to mention this for last chapter, but if you want some visuals for the tango, there are some great videas of two men dancing tango on youtube.**

Kurt feels like he has to physically stop his jaw from hitting the floor.

"You...I...Are you serious?"

"I am. You should give me a hickey. A big and very obvious hickey."

"You - are very dedicated to your job."

"Hey, do you think I do this with everyone? She just...hits me the wrong way. To be so...brazen, after all she's done to you..."

"To be fair, that wasn't her alone."

"Yeah well, but she seems very intent on repeating it. And I just – Everyone should accept a no. Everyone. I mean, I told her I was gay. That I was with you, that I was in love with you. Um – I might have told her you were an excellent lover. And she was...completely unimpressed. She just kept on pushing."

Kurt decides to ignore Blaine's bragging about his sexual prowess, and he feels it isn't his place to inquire where there is clearly a back story, so he just settles on repeating.

"A hickey. All right. But I refuse to do this in some bathroom stall, so we have to sneak out for a bit and go back to our room."

"Yeah. We should do it now, come on, nobody's watching us. And we have to hurry, she has to see it soon."

They walk out of the party room to the stairs, still hand in hand in case anyone is watching after all, but Kurt doesn't really understand the rush.

"Why? We have the whole week."

"Because if she sees it some other day, she will think you gave it to me after she hit on me, to stake your claim so to speak. Which would be – kind of hot, in fact, but not what we want to achieve here. We want you to look completely sure of me, like there's just no need for you to prove I'm yours. So that hickey has to be somewhere under my shirt collar, where it can be seen when I loosen my tie, and it has to look like it's been there all along. So we have to do it now, and we have to be quick."

Kurt is surprised by the way Blaine has very obviously taken the initiative in their little scheme, but then he thinks if he'd spent half an evening being hit on by cousin Linda, he'd want it to stop, too. So he's not going to question Blaine. After all, he's acting on his best interests.

It's in their room that things get awkward.

"So, how do you...Do you want to lie down or...?"

Blaine nods and lies on the bed, and after hesitating briefly, Kurt joins him and finds that he has to be very close to Blaine to reach his neck with his mouth. He finally settles on his side, popped up on one elbow, one leg draped over Blaine's to avoid falling over.

"Should I just – okay."

He loosens Blaine's tie and opens the first few buttons of his shirt, and then chooses a spot low on Blaine's neck. He can't imagine just starting to...suck, so he kisses the spot experimentally and then runs it over with his tongue, and it feels very weird and like they are in a situation very different from the one they actually are in, and he thinks that might actually help. So he closes his eyes and imagines Blaine is his lover, and he settles his head on Blaine's shoulder and places long, open-mouthed kisses on his neck, and then starts nibbling, biting and sucking for real. He sinks into his fantasy, feeling Blaine's light stubble on his lips and tongue and tasting his skin, and is not even embarrassed by the fact that Blaine must be able to feel his growing arousal against his thigh, and he is not surprised to feel a hand grabbing his hair and pressing his head down on Blaine's neck. But after a while, a broken moan from Blaine calls him back into reality.

He sits up, not really knowing what just happened, and briefly meets the eyes of a dazed-looking Blaine who distractedly touches his neck. As his hand falls down, Kurt gasps as he sees a very impressive hickey that will barely be able to be covered by a shirt collar, and then wonders what the hell is wrong with him when he feels his cock give a violent twitch. He definitely seems to have a thing for hickeys, and when he looks at Blaine, he can't help but think that's apparently something they've got in common.

He clears his throat. "What just...I seem to have gone a little...I'm sorry."

Blaine seems to shake himself out of his stupor and slowly rises to walk over to the mirror, and Kurt can clearly see that this...episode hasn't left him unaffected either.

Blaine looks in the mirror, and he can't seem to stop touching the bruise that adorns his neck.

"I think...mission accomplished."

Kurt nods. "We – we should go back down."

"Yes, I just. Need a minute. And you should check your hair."

They go down after ten minutes that Kurt spends sitting on the rim of the tub after fixing his hair and splashing his face with water, willing his erection as well as his embarrassment to go down so that he will be able to function again. The only consolation is that, at least as far as he knows, Blaine is sitting on the edge of the bed doing exactly the same.

As they leave the room, he touches Blaine's arm. "Just - try not to let my dad see it."

Blaine nods and then laughs, and gradually, their embarrassment seems to ebb away. Kurt feels confident that at some point in the course of the evening, he will be able to look Blaine in the eyes again without blushing. He only hopes that the hickey leads Linda to back off, so that at least everything will be worth it. He knows they have to talk about what happened eventually if they want the easy almost-friendship they had going on to continue – and he does – but he feels sure they can get over the evening.

No one seems to have noticed their absence, everything seems normal. There is only one problem.

"Blaine, stop it."

"What?"

"You keep touching – you know."

Kurt really needs Blaine to stop touching his neck. Apart from the fact that it looks suspicious – he wouldn't touch it if it had actually been there for some time – being reminded of that hickey does _things _to Kurt. That Blaine doesn't do it on purpose, that he can't seem to help himself, just makes it hotter.

The solution they eventually find is slow dancing, where Kurt can wrap his arms around Blaine's neck and deny him access, so to speak. It helps one part of the problem, but not the other; but it seems to somehow endear them to Kurt's assembled relatives, as far as he can see from where his head is resting on Blaine's hair. One of his aunts is aw – ing, Carole actually wipes her eyes, and even Uncle Andy is looking on with a smile. Only Aunt Mildred, his sister, looks disapproving, but he expected nothing less. What kind of frightens him is when they turn and he sees Linda, who is dancing with one of his distant cousins, but steadily watching them with an expression of angry determination. Really, what does she get from all this? Blaine is hot, yes, handsome and charming, but is he really worth all this effort to get him when he clearly doesn't want to?

Who is he kidding. She does this to spite him. If Blaine had a hump and two noses, she would hit on him just because she thinks he is Kurt's boyfriend. And Kurt doesn't even know what he has done to make her dislike him so much.

He purposely turns them so they are facing away from Linda, and tries to just enjoy the dance. He's never really done this. Ian didn't like dancing (and really, how did he ever think they were compatible?), so they never did, and Blaine is nice and close and smells good and_ has a hickey that Kurt gave him on the side of his neck._

Kurt is relieved when the song changes to an upbeat number.

He has fun showing Blaine the basics of jive right there on the dance floor, and when the song ends, they are both red-faced and out of breath from laughing and dancing. They look at each other: this is the perfect opportunity. Blaine drops down on a chair next to Linda's, fans himself with his hand and then loosens his tie and opens the first button of his shirt, dragging a little at the collar. The hickey is clearly visible, and Linda's reaction at first is exactly what they hoped for.

She is talking to the guy she danced with earlier, but when she sees Blaine's neck, she stops talking mid-sentence and just – stares.

Then she rises, looks Kurt in the eyes and says,

"Maybe I underestimated you, dearest cousin. Apparently you actually can match the sexual skills of a vacuum cleaner."

She turns, but instead of just leaving as Kurt has hoped, she drops down on Blaine's lap and practically shoves her cleavage into his face.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N So, last update before I go on vacation! This is the chapter with the off - screen death of an OC.**

**Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it and the happiest of new years to all!**

"What _the fuck_ is wrong with you?"

Blaine rises as quickly as the additional weight on his lap allows, and Linda, caught unawares, almost falls to the ground. Ironically, it is Kurt's arm she grabs to steady herself, and as soon as she realizes this, she lets go as quickly as if she burnt herself. As soon as she regains her equilibrium (which is soon; Kurt could almost admire her), she shoots Blaine a seductive smile.

"Why, I just think I can give you what you need. More than_ him, _anyway."

"As if you have any idea about what I need! You're just spite. Everything you did today was to spite Kurt. Don't think you can fool me into believing that _anything _about this was about me or what I need. I don't know what kind of...feud you have going on with Kurt, but I can't be in the middle of this. Keep me out of it!"

With a quiet "I'm sorry" to Kurt, Blaine leaves the room, and as if the situation isn't uncomfortable enough, Kurt realizes that all of the party guests stare at him and Linda.

All Kurt really wants to do is go after Blaine, but he feels he has to do some kind of damage control first, though he has no idea how. He sees Linda preparing herself to speak, probably to act the hurt innocence, and is determined to at least stop her from doing any more damage, but someone else is faster. Uncle Andy speaks from his chair in the corner.

"Stop it, girl. In the course of one evening, you have manged to not only embarrass Kurt and his boyfriend, but also to completely humiliate yourself, not to mention that you made everyone else uncomfortable. I think the least you can do is shut up now."

In the silence that follows, Kurt quietly says, "Excuse me," and leaves to go look after Blaine.

In their room, Blaine is sitting on the bed and slowly dissolving all the gel in his hair because he keeps running his hands over his face and through his hair. When he hears Kurt enter, he sits up.

"I'm sorry. That was...terribly unprofessional of me."

Kurt shakes his head and sits beside him. "No, I'm sorry. I knew you'd be exposed to some amount of crazy, but I didn't expect...this. She only flirted a little with Ian, but then I guess he was much more receptive than you. I didn't anticipate her getting so intense, though."

"Do you have any idea why she does this? Why she is so intent on stealing your boyfriends?"

"I really have no idea. I wish I did, so I could do something about it. I'm sorry you got caught up in all of this. Really. Are you...are you alright? You seem really upset."

Blaine sighs and lets himself fall backwards on the bed.

"There was a boy in high school who... pursued me. Hard, and though I didn't really like him very much and he kind of annoyed me, I felt flattered, I guess? And after a time, I couldn't think of any more reasons not to give in, reasons for myself, you know. Like, I'd never had a boyfriend before, and I wanted that. Not necessarily with him, but he was the only one there, and so, eventually, I agreed to date him. And we had some really good times. I wasn't in love, but I guess I became a little infatuated. But after a time, I discovered he still chased other boys. I don't know if he really cheated on me in the way that he slept with them, but...well. He pretty much told me it was never about me, that he just liked the chase. So I recognize the situation, I guess? That I'm pursued, but not because they like me or even just find me attractive, but for some other reason, and that's...not a good feeling. I shouldn't let it get me so worked up any more though, it's been a long time ago. I'm sorry."

Kurt lies down beside him, suddenly weary. This day has been a lot, in more than one way.

"Don't be. Really, I'm sorry my family is so crazy. I kind of imagined the whole thing to be easier. Like, hire a cute pretend boyfriend, make everyone shut up about my love life, go home, over. Instead you get creepy stalker Linda, and me more or less attacking you before..."

"Oh! No, I mean...yes, but...I think we both got caught in the moment there. And I kind of had forgotten I had this thing for, you know, my neck being kissed. I probably shouldn't have made the suggestion about the hickey, that was really unprofessional, even without our...reactions. Oh god, I'm really fucking up this job, aren't I? I'd not blame you if you wanted to send me home and demand your money back."

Kurt smiles. "Don't tell me you don't know that your agency doesn't refund. But I wouldn't want to, I think you're doing great, considering the circumstances. Although I wouldn't blame you for wanting to go home," he quickly adds, feeling slightly guilty for not thinking of this before. "I'm sure we could get away with it, no one would blame you."

"No, I'll stay. I'd feel bad if I left you alone with all this mess. Just, do you think she'll back off now?"

"Oh! I haven't told you. After your...dramatic exit, something pretty great happened. My uncle Andy stood up for us and pretty much told her to leave you alone, and not privately, everyone heard. So I don't think she'll hit on you again. And if she does, we'll change tactics and I'll challenge her to a duel or something. Or get a restraining order. Still, Uncle Andy seems great. He hasn't told anyone about, you know, us either. I'm sorry I don't know him better, we only see each other at events like this and I don't think we've ever really talked. But I'll take care to do that sometime this week."

He looks at his watch. It's not really that late, but he's so tired it could as well be three in the morning.

"Blaine? Shall we do something really rebellious?"

Blaine looks at him, somewhat surprised.

"Let's not go down again. Let's just stay up here, without saying goodnight."

Blaine grins. "How risqué. But can we, please? I'm not sure I could persuade my legs to move again. And, well, I'm kind of embarrassed about my, as you put it, dramatic exit."

Kurt shakes his head. "Just imagine what would have happened if you were a girl and she a man that would have been all over you like that. You would have had the whole party coming to your defense. Now it's just my Uncle Andy and us deciding we have had enough of people for today." He sighs. "Would you believe if I told you she was comparatively mellow towards me today? I guess she changed her target, usually she is much meaner. I don't know why I let her get to me, I really don't do that. I don't know where I'd be if I had believed anything people said to me in high school."

They get ready for bed, and before he goes to sleep, Kurt's thoughts drift back to the hickey incident. That had been _really _embarrassing...but also really hot. But better not think about that too much. It really has been too long since he has had a real boyfriend. One question remains though.

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?"

"How can you forget you get turned on by having your neck kissed?"

"Shh. Sleep."

The next morning, Kurt just gets out of the shower when he hears the room phone ring. He hurries getting dry and dressed, but the ringing stops; Blaine has taken the call. Dressed and toweling his hair, Kurt enters the bedroom and sees Blaine sitting on the bed with the phone against his ear.

"Yes, I'll tell him. Yes, I heard about that. I'm so sorry, Carole."

Blaine hangs up and looks at him, then rises and awkwardly takes his hands.

"That was Carole. I'm so sorry, Kurt – your Uncle Andy passed away tonight."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Happy new year, everyone!**

**This chapter contains a blink-and-you-miss-it reference to Finn's death.**

Kurt sits through the funeral without feeling much apart from how much he hates funerals. He grips Blaine's hand tightly. He had warned Blaine that there was a chance that he would break down at the funeral, mostly because it might remind him of his mom's and that of his step-brother Finn, who had died eight years ago. It feels...inappropriate, somehow, to keep up their charade in the face of death, but it seemed equally absurd to come out with the truth now, so Blaine had to know he might need to play the supportive boyfriend. Besides, Kurt felt like he might need the comfort Blaine would be able to offer.

But Uncle Andy's funeral doesn't touch him like that. He feels no need to cry. The service is overly emotional in a way that borders on funny, and although Kurt feels sad, he knows that he doesn't really mourn Uncle Andy. Although he was family, they didn't really know each other. His death will have no impact on Kurt's life, he will leave no void, as awful as it sounds. Kurt feels for all those he sees around him that genuinely grieve, but he himself mostly laments the missed opportunity. It feels ironic, the way he had promised himself the day before yesterday that he would try to get to know his great-uncle, only to learn in the morning that now, he never will.

When the service is over, Kurt just wants to go back to their room, collapse on the bed and forget the last two days ever happened, but a somber looking young man stops him just outside the chapel.

"Excuse me, are you Kurt Hummel?"

"I am."

"Yours and Mr Anderson's presence is required at the reading of the will."

"The what?"

"The Reading of the Will." Kurt's mind provides the capitalization because the young man sounds positively in awe about it. "It takes place in half an hour in the smaller conference room of the hotel."

Kurt doesn't exactly know what he's doing in the small room with only Blaine and those of the family that were closest to Uncle Andy for company. Uncle Andy had never been married and had no children, so that's just his sister Mildred, her son and his wife, and their daughter, Linda. Kurt can feel them glare at him as he takes his seat, and for once, he understands. What is he, whose interactions with Uncle Andy have never gone beyond small talk, doing among those closest to him?

Apart from the family, there is an older man whom Kurt had noticed at the funeral, but had never seen before that. In the front sit a gray-templed man in a suit who must be the attorney, and beside him are the young man who had told Kurt to come here and an attractive, black-haired woman in a gray pantsuit.

Kurt is still clutching Blaine's hand as the attorney starts talking.

"Good afternoon. We are here for the reading of the will of the recently deceased Mr. Andrew Charles Hummel. My name is Thomas Steiner, I am Mr. Hummel's attorney and the executor of his will. Next to me are my associates Mr. Greene and Miss Lopez."

Kurt pretty much zones out after that. He still doesn't even understand why he is here, to actually listen feels too much to ask. He vaguely hears that Aunt Mildred is being left some money – like, a lot of money (and he had known that Uncle Andy was well off, but nothing like this), though apparently not as much as she expected, judging from the things she mumbles to herself. Someone else is being left a house, and the unknown man inherits some things that are clearly of a sentimental value for him, because he dabs his eyes with his handkerchief. And then -

"To Mr. Kurt Hummel - "

"Wait, what?" Kurt could immediately punch himself – of course he is being left something, that is, after all, the only logical explanation for his presence here. It is interesting, though, that he is not the only one to speak up. He has clearly heard Linda shout the same incredulous words, and he can feel Aunt Mildred's glares with renewed force in his back.

Mr. Steiner gives Kurt and Linda a reproachful look and clears his throat.

"To Mr. Kurt Hummel and Mr. Blaine Anderson."

Kurt hears Blaine gasp quietly, glances at him and shrugs as the attorney continues.

"In 365 days from tomorrow on, Mr. Hummel and Mr. Anderson will receive the sum of 1.5 million dollars to be shared equally among them, if they can meet the following conditions.

During this year, Mr. Hummel and Mr. Anderson will live together in a house provided by Mr. Andrew Hummel. They will keep a monogamous, committed relationship. Additionally, in the course of these 365 days, Mr. Hummel will choreograph and perform a competition routine of either Standard or Latin ballroom dancing, and Mr. Anderson will write and publish a book that does not contain sexual content of any kind. Mr. Hummel and Mr. Anderson have twenty-four hours from now on to determine whether they agree to accept these conditions and, if applicable, the inheritance. If they do agree, they will move into the house tomorrow together with my associate Miss Lopez, who has kindly agreed to act as a supervisor to see to the adherence to the conditions. They will then live together for a year, during which their keep will be paid from an account I have set up on Mr. Andrew Hummel's request. At the end of the year, if the conditions are met, the aforementioned amount of money will be disbursed to them. If they do not agree or if they fail to meet the conditions, half of the money will go to Mrs. Mildred Molesworth, née Hummel, sister to the deceased, and the other half will be donated to a charity of Mr. Andrew Hummel's choosing which will be announced if applicable."

In the last few days, Kurt has often envied Blaine his aptitude to effortlessly adapt to any social surroundings, but right now, this talent seems to leave him. Blaine looks as Kurt feels, his mouth slightly open as he uncomprehendingly looks around him. Kurt feels completely stunned, and it takes a little while until he notices the small riot that breaks out in the small conference room. Mr. Steiner is crowded by the rest of the party who question him indignantly, with the exemption of the unfamiliar man, who is still sitting in his corner and looks like he's secretly enjoying himself. Mr. Greene looks like he's afraid for his life, which seems a slightly exaggerated reaction to the four people currently shouting at his boss, and Miss Lopez just watches the scene with a little smirk.

Mr. Steiner patiently tries to answer questions, but Kurt can only understand snippets because of the shouting.

"..called me three days ago to change his will..."

"...died of completely natural causes..."

"...I can't tell you why..."

"...not advisable to appeal against..."

While Kurt can understand his relations' strong reaction up to some point, he has enough when he hears them suspecting him of murdering his uncle for his money, although he is pretty sure they would not go so far if they were thinking clearly. He and Blaine share a glance and then quietly inch their way outside. They run up to their room and close the door, finally able to breathe deeply again.

Then Blaine suddenly starts laughing, and says,

"I wasn't sure up till now, but I can safely say that this is the craziest event I have ever been booked for. By far."

Kurt has to laugh, too, although he feels slightly hysteric doing so. But while he still has difficulties wrapping his mind around what happened, he suddenly realizes they have a decision to make.

"Blaine? Do you -"

He is interrupted by a knock on the door. He shoots Blaine a slightly panicked look and goes to open, desperately hoping it is not one of the crazy relatives they just ran away from and kind of expecting to see his dad.

Outside stands the attorney's associate Miss Lopez. In a demeanor that completely contradicts her businesslike appearance, she strides into the room without saying hello, and asks,

"So, gaybies and prospective future roommates, have you decided what you want to do?"


	8. Chapter 8

Kurt gives the strange woman a cold look. He doesn't appreciate being barged in on like that, not after a day like this.

"Miss...Lopez, was it?"

She unceremoniously lets herself drop down on the bed, nodding."Santana. But you can call me Mistress, because that will has basically made you my bitches for the next year."

Blaine stares at her. "You are...very weird for a lawyer."

She shifts her posture a little and suddenly looks like a picture of respectability. She looks at them.

"Let's be straight here. I know that must seem like a hopeless endeavour, but just try, okay? I may be weird. But I'm also good. And I'm completely impartial. So if you decide to do this, I expect three things from you. I want to see you spreading you fairy dust all over the house and filling it with love and rainbows. I want to see Hummel shake his booty. And I want to read a PG-rated book written by the hobbit here that is not The Hobbit. That's all. Nothing more. So kissing my ass or trying to get on my good side somehow won't work, because I don't have a good side. And I have a psychic Mexican third eye, so if you're bullshitting me somehow, I'll know."

Kurt has to resist the urge to just stare at her open-mouthed while she is talking, and when she finishes, he has to mentally shake himself to find words.

"Could I...just talk to my... boyfriend alone for a minute, please? We haven't had time yet to even talk about what we want to do."

And when they really want to do this, he has to stop hesitating before calling Blaine his boyfriend.

Miss Lopez – Santana – nods. "Sure. Just thought we should get to know each other before we move in together. But, you know, don't let me cockblock you – I'm leaving. See you tomorrow."

Watching the door close, Kurt slowly shakes his head. This woman – hell, this whole day – seems too much to process. Blaine groans and falls on the bed.

"I really think the situation is appropriate for another round of nearly hysteric laughter," he says, and Kurt admires his eloquence, because his own mind still feels unable to form a coherent sentence.

"I know, but we already did that. We need to talk; who knows when my dad hears about all of this and barges in here or how much time we have left until the Furies find us."

"The Furies being Aunt Mildred and Linda?"

"Of course. I don't know if we really have to fear for our lives, but I'd rather stay safe."

Kurt is only half kidding; the look on Aunt Mildred's face was really frightening.

But they have to consider the real question. "At least we know now that Uncle Andy actually heard everything we talked about in the coffeeshop."

"Yes, but – I still don't understand. These conditions are kind of weird."

"I think he wants us to do what we really want? If that makes sense? I mean, I don't know what he thinks us pretending to be boyfriends for a whole year will achieve, but...he basically pays you to write and me to dance. Like, really dance again, not just teach. And you to write something good, something that does not qualify for a romance novel."

"Yes, but no sex? What kind of books are there without sex?"

"Um...children's books? Lots of other books that don't have anything explicit in it?"

"You mean those that just say 'And then they had sex", instead of describing what goes where? I guess that could work."

"Okay, but shouldn't we figure out if we want to do this first? The rest is just details."

Blaine sits up and puts on a fake-serious expression. "Kurt. Do you... want to do this?"

Kurt falls over on the bed, giggling and finally dissolving something of the pressure that has been building up in him the whole day. He still manages to answer, though.

"Blaine. It's so. Much. Money!"

"So I take that as a yes?"

"The things I could do with that money, even if I only get it in a year...I could use what savings I have on at least getting started on renovating the studio – and I could renovate everything, not only the damaged rooms, so that it is not only usable, but actually pretty...Oh, I have so many plans for the place that I never thought I could actually carry out because money was always tight..."

Kurt gets serious and sits up.

"It's not only the money, though. I'm really sad I lost the chance to get to know Uncle Andy. I mean, I never thought anything about him except an old uncle – someone you see twice a year at family events, but never have anything to do with the rest of the time. And what he did with Linda the other day was so great, and he could obviously tell what we really wanted to do and thought we couldn't just from one overheard conversation – I feel like if we did what he wanted for us, we'd still have some kind of connection."

"I understand. I felt really out of place at his funeral, like I had no right to be there, you know? And I guess that's true, but – even though he knew that I'm not really your boyfriend, he must have seen something in me to make him want to give me this. And I'm grateful for this. So, I guess what I want to say is – I'm on board."

Kurt feels like squealing, but contends himself with grinning widely and bouncing a little. But Blaine isn't finished talking.

"But I think we have to realize what we are doing here. It's not going to be easy, I mean apart from that whole writing thing which I'm not sure how to do yet. We are talking about keeping up the thing that we're doing for a year. We'll have to pretend for one year, and that Santana, she seems really perceptive. I think she's suspecting something even now, and I thought we were really good."

Kurt nods. "Me too. And I guess we might have to kick it up a notch, but I'm at a loss at how to do it. I mean, we slow danced, we did the tango, we walked hand in hand, you kissed my cheek. You have a fucking hickey, for God's sake. What more are we supposed to do?"

"I think we should at first try to be that couple, you know, that seem like they have a ridiculously good sex life but is not much one for PDA."

"How do you seem like you have a ridiculously good sex life?"

"Leave me my little fantasy. Anyway, if that doesn't work, if she gets suspicious because we never kiss or something...well, I guess I could stand to kiss you once in a while."

"Oh, thank you very much."

"No, I mean it. I mean I don't usually kiss my clients. But, and excuse me if I'm overstepping here, I feel like we could be friends. And I could kiss a friend. You know, if necessary."

"Well, I guess kissing is better then the idea I had of making fake sex noises in our bedroom at night."

"Um...yes. Let's save that as a last resort."

Then Kurt realizes something and sits up in panic. "Oh my God, I can't stay away from the studio for a whole year! I just can't let Brittany and Mike do everything alone. I mean, they're great dancers, but if I let Brittany do the accounts, we'd be broke in no time."

He begins pacing the room, trying to find a solution.

"Kurt, relax! You can do the accounts from here and send them. And when you start renovating, the studio will be closed anyway for some time, won't it? And no one says you can't fly in from time to time. We have to live in Ohio for a year, which I guess is bad enough, but we're not prisoners. I'm sure we're allowed to leave sometimes."

Kurt nods hesitantly. He is not happy to leave the studio for so long, and he had planned to personally supervise the renovations, but it can't be helped.

"I guess that could work. I just have to make a very detailed outline for the renovations, and I'll probably call so often Mike and Brittany will hate me, but I'll make it work."

The next day, they call the attorney to accept, and Santana comes to their rooom with a contract. The signing feels oddly formal, like they're committing to something far more serious. Then Santana says,

"Let's make it official. Seal it with a kiss."

Hesitantly, they lean in to kiss her cheek, but she pulls away.

"Not me, you morons! I've had all the boy kisses I want for my whole life. You kiss, each other."

They look at each other and shrug.


	9. Chapter 9

It can't be just a peck, Kurt knows that. For some reason, Santana is suspicious; she requested the kiss as a proof that they are together, that they have kissed hundreds of times. He can see Blaine knows that, too. But as soon as he leans in for the kiss, he feels that this is dangerous – he could easily be drawn in again and he has no desire to repeat the hickey incident, although the stirring feeling in his belly that wakes at the memory may tell him otherwise. So he vows to be careful.

But then Blaine's lower lip is between his own, and he can't resist sucking on it just a little bit, and he feels Blaine's hand on the back of his neck tighten and draw them nearer together. His own mouth opens just a little more in response, but then, with difficulty, he pulls away, and for a second, Blaine and him just stare at each other as they catch their breath. Luckily, Santana is busy putting away her pen and her part of the contract; if Kurt's face shows only a little of the mixture of breathlessness, excitement, exhilaration and doubt that he feels, there is no way she would buy this as one kiss of many. She looks up again just as they manage to break the look, and apart from the kiss, she doesn't seem to have witnessed anything.

"That was hardly the hottest makeout I've ever seen, but I guess it will have to do. Get packing, guys, I'll see you tomorrow."

Kurt and Blaine carefully do not look each other as they pack the things they won't need tonight or tomorrow back into their bags. Eventually, Kurt says,

"I guess we should go talk to my dad. I haven't seen him since the funeral, I don't even know if he knows about all this."

Blaine nods and carelessly stuffs the last polo into his bag, while Kurt watches disapprovingly. As they leave their room, Blaine nudges Kurt with his shoulder.

"So I guess I really can kiss you. Just like I said."

Kurt grins, surprised – but why make things awkward if they don't have to be?

"Yes, I guess you can."

His dad has, in fact, heard nothing but rumors about the whole inheritance thing, and is a little angry that Kurt hasn't come to him sooner. But Kurt is able to calm him down quickly, and he is really glad he and Blaine have made up their minds without consulting anyone. Burt makes objections that may be reasonable, but offer no help for their real situation, but Kurt can hardly blame him because he just doesn't know their real situation.

"You sure you know what you're doing?"

"Not—entirely, but I think we have this down. We talked about it, dad, for a long time, and we figured out what to do about the studio and Blaine's job and our apartments and everything."

"Yes, but – you'll be living together. That's a big deal, something that challenges every relationship, and you haven't been together that long. You sure you can handle that?"

"You mean we'll break up because Blaine won't put away his things properly? - Don't look at me like that, I've seen the way you stuffed that shirt into your bag, and that's no way to treat clothes!"

Burt looks at him with an I-told-you-so-expression, and then at Blaine, who watches them and tries not to laugh.

"From what I see, and what I experienced from living with you, more because you'll nag Blaine about putting away his stuff until he can't stand it anymore. But yes. It's the little things, Kurt. You fight about clothes and money and whose turn it is to put the garbage out and who forgot to get groceries and whatnot, and you forget the big picture. The reason why you're in that house together in the first place."

"Well, in our case it's because we'll be paid very handsomely to do so, but I get what you're meaning. And I do not nag."

"Mr. Hummel," Blaine says, "At home, I stay at Kurt's place all the time. We have both experienced a little of what it means to live with each other. I know it's not going to be easy, but we're good communicators. We'll compromise. We'll house-train each other."

Burt looks at them doubtfully for another minute, but then chuckles. "At least I know now why Mildred is so furious. The way she looked as she stormed into the lobby yesterday, she was ready to start a war."

Kurt's smile is a little uneasy; he doesn't exactly want to know what Aunt Mildred's 'war' is going to look like. But he is glad that his dad's doubts about the whole thing seem to have evaporated, even if they were completely misplaced. After all, they don't need to worry about breaking up when there's nothing there to break up, do they?

The conversation turns to logistics then. They move tomorrow, which leaves them very little time to prepare something now. They will take the things they had packed for this week with them, and next weekend, they plan to fly to New York to get the other things they need; until then, they will just have to do a lot of laundry. Then, Blaine will put his furniture in storage and give up his apartment. He had wanted to look for another anyway, and there is no use in keeping it empty the whole year. Kurt, on the other hand, plans to keep his. He can easily afford the rent now, he reasons, and he plans to go to New York fairly often to look after the studio, so it will be useful then. Besides, he loves his place, and there's no way he'll be so lucky again in rent and situation if he has to look for something new next year.

Burt and Carole listen to them outlining their plans and offer the occasional advice, but seem satisfied they got this. Then Burt smiles.

"At least, Columbus is much nearer then New York. We'll be able to see you more often. We'll come visit!"

Kurt smiles and hopes it looks happy, in love and everything else instead of forced like it really is. Because while he likes seeing his dad and often misses him, the promised visits do not make his job any easier. It is bad enough that Santana will live with them, but she doesn't know them. She doesn't know if he likes PDA or rather keeps everything behind closed doors, she doesn't know how much of a romantic he is. She doesn't know anything about Blaine, either (neither does he, for that matter). But his dad? No one knows him so well. They'll really have to up their game if they want to fool him for any amount of time when he isn't distracted by other things and just there to observe their relationship. And playing boyfriends under parental supervision is not something Kurt looks forward to.

When they sit at dinner, alone again and at least for the moment safe from supervision, assumptions and well-meant advice, Kurt thinks of something.

"What are you going to tell your parents? And your friends?"

Blaine stops the fork halfway to his mouth.

"I haven't even thought about that." He eats the bite of pasta and chews slowly, thinking. "I think...I'd like to tell my parents the same we told yours, if that's okay. After all, the less people know the truth, the better, right? We might have to visit them at some point, and I'll probably get some backlash for not telling them I have a boyfriend, but that's better then explaining everything, at least for me. Friends...is another matter. Those I'm close with know I'm single, I don't know how...what do you want to tell your friends?"

"I have no idea. This has gotten much bigger than I expected, obviously. Rachel knows, she's my best friend, she was involved in the planning of the whole thing. But she swore she won't tell. Everyone else...I'll have to tell Mike and Brittany that I'm away for the next year, and I guess I could just casually mention a boyfriend, that might work with them. Otherwise...oh my God, what do I tell Mercedes?...I don't know?"

"Oh, I have an idea. We could – do you have a facebook? We should just change our relationship status there, and most of what people have to say will go over there. We won't have to explain anything in person, and we have some more time to decide what to do, at least."

It's a good idea, Kurt decides. It won't really solve anything, but it'll give them time, and he hopes his relationship status is perhaps not so interesting to most people.

"So you want to go facebook official, do you, Mr. Anderson? So early in our relationship?" he teases.

Blaine laughs, then ducks his head bashfully and flutters his eyelashes in probably the most ridiculous way possible. "It would be my honor, Mr. Hummel."


End file.
